Poem: When Poetry is absent

Every now and then

I become detached from my inner self

Like a polluted river

Carrying loads of toxic waste

I become the sludge of toxic thoughts and emotions

Wittingly poured into my body, mind and soul

By the thick cloud of uncertainty

Enveloping the skies of life

Like a dry river bed

My existence feels deserted

The sounds of my flowing passion are no more

The force that quenches my thirst

Clearly absent from the furrow of my existence

Like a winter night

The air becomes thickened with hostilities

Cold wind blows through my frozen world

No clouds of Silence

To calm my body, mind and soul

Torn from the sanctity of my inner being

I am now an inhabitant of the outer self

No poetry to calm my nerves

Everything looks dry and rigid

The pedestal of hope lies broken on the ground

The thick cloud of hopelessness covers the sky

A dark deluge of fear is fast approaching

Certainly I cannot stay here

I have to go back to my sanctuary

I have to find a way to calm my nerves

I have to submerge my body, mind and soul

Into the realm of Silence

I have to be still

The path to my inner being

Totally wedged inside the Silence

I have to find the door to my inner self

And maybe then I will pour myself onto the fabric of life

I will find the words to describe my harrowing ordeal

I will write poems about hopelessness, fear and uncertainty

I will be safe inside the fortified walls of the inner being

I will be home inside the realm of nothingness

©Kenneth Maswabi